January 2013 by Jakob Maier
Jakob Maier reminds everyone that January is the coldest month. After the initial thrill of a New Year wears off it is brutal in how it creeps by, gray day by gray day. There is little sunlight. In fact Jakob barely even remembers the fact that it is 2013. 2012 and 2013 bleed into each other at first. Yet eventually by the end of January it is obvious that a new year has begun, off to a cold dreary start, just like every year.
Watching his socks get destroyed must devastate Jakob. Socks are expensive. There’s an entire city dedicated exclusively to making socks. It is the most boring city in the world. However thanks to the oversupply of socks in that city they use socks like currency. Food can be purchased in socks. Heating oil can be bought using the sock currency. Good thing that no matter where in the world someone is there is the sense that socks can protect things besides the obvious feet. Socks are the condoms of the feet. Socks hold secrets by their boring nature.
‘You’re alive’ is a good way of saying hello to children. Jakob’s mom says this to him every time he calls. Whenever a ‘do you know where your children are’ plays on the television parents reflexively stare at their phones. They wonder why their children don’t call more often. Such a scenario would be ironic from the children’s point of view. Unfortunately due to ‘crushing youth poverty’ children generally watch TV online. Thus the commercial is always missed.
Air addicts are scary people. Jakob is an air addict. Train stations, yep, that’s his air. He breathes in the clean train air. When travel is involved the air smells different. Recycled air is a big part of any and every form of transportation. Babies are born in train stations across America. Inspired by the movement of trains the unborn fetus thinks ‘Hey I can move too’ and promptly decides to join the human race. The unborn baby fetus race is a considerably less interesting race.
‘Life like weeds’ is a Modest Mouse song. In Jakob’s life he feels like a weed. That’s fine. Everyone needs to start out somewhere. Lawns are boring. Grass doesn’t need to be green. Weeds are necessary. Eventually weeds gain deep roots. Eventually weeds blow away finding new things. Starting out as a weed shows the world that big things are happening, that the roots are here to stay, here to mess up suburbia.
Friend improvement happens over a lifetime. While there are moments of feeling ‘friend-less’ or the feeling of ‘I suck’ things will get better. Jakob knows this, or if he doesn’t know it, he’ll figure it out soon.